The long journey, stumbles at someone, ignores someone, drowned in someone. It brings/brought lot of changes in me. My negligence towards it or my dream about it. Its so different when you have it. 

Back from the ashes... huh... It got expired. 

Some thing returned back. I heard some one laughing. I felt some one crying. I saw my reflection in the mirror. I know the reason, I am the reason. It came back, something that hit very badly. It is painful, it used to be. Always in my bygone days. I was too much addicted by the social consciousness. It might have sanctified me in others eyes but never on mine. My memoirs even though transient, hurts my mind and force me to be seditious. Alas if I can be....

    The domain, the path, the views and me. This is me, forced to be old by the digital assaults.  heh as usual when one is young, they want to be old and when they are old they like the opposite. I want to be a kid, running around, falling down, getting up if no one is around else cry loudly so that they will come and pick me up. hehehe.. 

    The gnarly veins running thru my brain does not allow me to fix the pain nor allows to make  it conspicuous. It is hidden at heart, raising its venomous eyes when my mind is affected by solitude... leaving a blemish in my mind so that it can hurt again.

    I dont need any empathy or correction by any asshole, not even a pathetic look of sympathy. I have an advice for them.. GET LOST!!!.... Because I love being like this and let be in this way. May be a sadistic, ignorant, "pretending" moron, I fucking care. I dont want to be resurrected by thy deadly views which may ruin my happiness, I fear.

I plead alibi. This is not me or this is not my usual sense (my self). My mind undergoes a subtle and sudden change at some point of time throwing away /me to a ominous silence disdainfully, besieging me, starting its errand towards .... hmm dont know, drawing a grotesque of itself.